


Flash, Zap, And Bang

by Spoon888



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humorous Dismemberment, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Megatron Trying To Be A Good Uncle And Only Failing A Little, Sparklings, Teleporting Triplets, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 05:38:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17094866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoon888/pseuds/Spoon888
Summary: Triplets are hard enough work as it is, but teleporting triplets? Thundercracker and Skywarp would have their work cut out for them.If they didn't have help, that is.





	Flash, Zap, And Bang

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically Megatron vs a tiny disrespectful version of Skywarp. So don't expect him to win or anything.

Thundercracker knew sparklings weren't a walk in the crystal park, especially when there were three of them and they'd all inherited Skywarp's boundless excitement. Getting them all off to recharge together without at least one of them bouncing about and squealing with laughter and waking the other two up required an insane level of patience, perseverance, and planning.

Something neither he or Skywarp possessed. So they snatched moments of recharge whenever they could. 

Thundercracker's helm had barely hit his pillow when purple light flashed through his shuttered optics. His audials crackled with nearby static a second later. He frowned, wondering what Skywarp could be getting up and warping about for that was more important than stealing even the barest moments of recharge.

There was another flare of light, then crack. Then another, and _another_.

"Warp!" He yelled, slapping his pillow when he rose from it. "What the pit?!"

Skywarp snuffled awake beside him, optics blinking blearily through the darkness. "Huh-?"

Purple light flashed again, illuminating the room just long enough for Thundercracker's muddled recharge-deprived senses to tell that it really _was_ Skywarp beside him. Which meant it wasn't him drunkenly warping around the room.

Purple flashed again, like a strike of lightening, accompanied by the crackle moments later.

A joyful giggle filled the room.

_The sparklings?!_

Thundercracker's spark shot into his throat. He fumbled to get out of the berth, blinded by the sudden flares of optic-searing brightness. Flare. Crack. Flare. Crack.

"Skywarp!" He yelled, half-hysterical, falling out of the berth with a thunk. One of their sparklings teleported right in front of his face, giggled, then disappeared before he could grab her. "Skywarp, they can teleport!"

Whichever sparkling he'd tried to grab reappeared under the berth beside him. He dove for her. But banged his helm against the frame with a curse. She clapped her servos and giggled before disappearing again.

Amused by pain? It must have been Bang.

"Grab them!" Skywarp yelled.

Thundercracker ground his denta together, scrambling to his pedes. Like he wasn't already trying to.

There was another series of flashes and Thundercracker stilled, waiting to hear the give away 'crack' and giggle that would tell him where they were. Triplets hadn't seemed like such a big deal until _now_.

" _TC_ ," Skywarp's voice whispered conspiratorially, " _she's on the berth_."

Thundercracker lifted his helm slowly and spied two oblivious sparklings in the berth's centre, Zap and Flash. The sisters were grabbing at each other's wings curiously, blabbing quietly to one another. He moved slowly and silently, ready to snag the nearest by the scruff bar, Skywarp across from him doing the same.

Zap yanked on Flash's wing though. With an indignant beep, they vanished into purple light.

Skywarp stamped his thruster with a furious noise, "What are we gonna do? If they teleport into a wall-!"

"Shh," Thundercracker held a servo up. He could hear something; muffled squeaking and thunks. Something trapped. Coming from the desk.

He hurried towards it and started yanking open drawers, terrified of finding a dismembered limb left from a disastrous teleport.

He opened the bottom draw and Zap and Flash both rolled into view with squeals of laughter, clinging to one another. Before they could think to warp away again he snatched them up, securing a servo around each of their scruffs, preventing any further warping.

Skywarp exhaled in heavy relief when he saw. "Where's Bang?"

Thundercracker listened, focusing beyond the fussing of the sparklings he held. The room was dark, void of the flurry of warping offspring now. Thundercracker couldn't hear their eldest daughter at all.

"Oh no," his optics met Skywarp's. "She's teleported outside the room."

Skywarp twisted his digits together nervously, "But... _Where_?"

 

* * *

 

Unlike less fortunate couples who'd already settled down and thrown all enjoyment for life aside by having sparklings, Starscream and Megatron didn't turn in for recharge quite so early.

Already awake and being less than professional with one another in berth, it didn't take them half as long to realise what was happening when the first flash of purple filled the room.

"Skywarp!" Starscream immediately tore himself out of their kiss and bellowed in Megatron's audial. "Now is not the time for ask for a sparkling-sit... _er_?"

Starscream trailed off and, rubbing his recovering audial, Megatron rolled to the side to see what had stolen his attention. Instead of a sheepish Skywarp, there was one of his fat, clueless little sparklings sat amongst discarded pillows at the end of their berth.

She was the blue one. Megatron couldn't quite recall her name...

He glanced at Starscream. Starscream frowned, "Where did-?"

With a flash that made them both jump, she disappeared. Starscream released a shriek of sheer panic ( _again_ in Megatron's audial) before the sparkling reappeared on Megatron's desk at the other end of the room with a loud crack.

Starscream threw off the corners with a snarl, rushing to grab her.

Megatron just sat there, beyond confused.

"She can teleport?" He murmured, watching Starscream trip over a chair in the relative darkness. The sparkling laughed at him, then vanished in another flash.

Starscream punched the desk in frustration.

A crack sounded and suddenly the little lump of a sparkling was at Megatron's pedes again, smiling at him.

"...Hello," he began gently, lifting a cautious servo.

"Grab her!" Starscream tripped over the _same chair again_ on his way back to the berth, "Don't just sit there, grab-"

Flash.

She was gone before Megatron could even think to get over his awkward reluctance to manhandle something so small and delicate.

"Idiot!" Starscream snarled, reaching the end of the berth and shaking it's frame, "I told you to _grab her_!"

"How was I-"

Crack. She was in the doorway to the wash-racks now. Megatron pointed, but Starscream was already mid drive.

Flash. Gone. And Starscream slammed his chin against the hard flooring when he landed.

Megatron then decided perhaps it would be more helpful if he actually got up for this.

"Grab her by the scruff, for sparks sake," Starscream rolled into a seated position, rubbing his chin. "It'll disable the warp-"

Another crack interrupted Starscream. And again the sparkling appeared right next to Megatron. With no hesitation this time, his servos shot out and grabbed her around her fat little middle.

"The scruff!" Starscream yelled, "before she-"

Megatron felt his entire frame lurch- Starscream vanishing, the room vanishing, _gravity_ vanishing. The sparkling shrieked with joy, waving her stubby arms as colours blurred and reality warped and they were flung into a dimension without time or space.

Back in the room, Starscream stared at the spot they'd just occupied. And cursed.

 

* * *

 

Teleporting with a six month old sparkling was not at all like teleporting with Skywarp. It certainly took longer, and was more disorientating. Megatron felt nauseous, his processor pounding as his frame was yanked by invisible forces pulling from all directions.

Then everything stilled, reality restored, and he found himself in one of the security corridors of the _Nemesis_ , the sparkling secure and safe in his servos.

He released a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding and went to steady himself- only when he went to step, he found he no longer had the  _legs_ to do so. 

With a strangled noise of surprise, glancing down, he realised the sparkling had managed to warp him halfway through the flooring, separating his legs, mid-thigh down, from the rest of his body. Unable to do anything to prevent it, he began to teeter forward. With a curse he landed with a thunk on his front, his chin taking the worst of it when he raised his arms to prevent the fall damaging the delicate frame he held.

The sparkling giggled again, legs kicking playfully.

Glaring, Megatron brought her down so she was sitting on the floor in front of him, and this time, he made sure to wrap a servo around her scruff.

"Dismembered by an infant," he murmured, looking into her chubby, oblivious little face. "How will I live this down?"

Easily bored with him and their new surroundings, the sparkling scrunched her face up with the intention of teleporting again. Megatron winced, bracing himself- but Starscream had been right. Holding her like this seemed to have disabled her warp drive.

He wondered if it worked on Skywarp too?

She opened her optics again, and scowled when she realised they hadn't gone anywhere.

"I think you've seen enough of the ship for one night." Megatron told her sternly.

Suspecting he had something to do with the loss of her new found ability, or perhaps just taking it out on him, she lifted a clumsy servo and batted him on the nose angrily, then crossed her arms and looked away, apparently ignoring him.

Megatron flexed his face against the undue assault, and seeing as he might as well know just _which_ of Skywarp's mischievous sparklings was disrespecting him (for future reference), he swivelled her around on her aft to look at her wings. She made an indignant noise.

He ignored it, nudging one of the rounded triangle-shaped wings up so he could see the designation engraved onto the underside of it's edge.

 _Bang_.

"Accurate." Megatron said. "A destructive onomatopoeia, for a destructive sparkling."

Bang flicked her tiny wings at him, bottom lip competing with nose for facial feature furthest from face.

They didn't have to put up with each other for much longer thankfully, as the next second Starscream was skidding around the corner, followed by a hyperventilating Thundercracker and panicking Skywarp.

Starscream stopped, blinking at the sight that lay before him. Megatron expected a onslaught of ridicule.

But he was wrong. Starscream's hyperactive sparkling-protocols were too powerful for even a mech as pragmatic and apathetic as him to overcome. Megatron might have been thankful for it... if cooing and affection wasn't quite so terrifying a thing to witness in a creature like _Starscream_.

"She's _alright_ ," Starscream was slumping in relief, gripping the bulkhead for both physical and emotional support, apparently unaware that Megatron _wasn't_.

He rushed to them, his trine following with similar noises of gratitude, their relief palpable. Before long Megatron found himself surrounded by thrusters on all sides.

He lifted an arm, expecting to at least be helped into a more dignified position. Starscream, predictably, ignored him. And so, less predictably, did Skywarp. Instead they stooped to scoop up their devious sparkling and started cooing and fussing and flapping about with her.

Megatron cleared his vocaliser, trying to remind them that he was still present. And legless.

Eventually he managed to draw Starscream's attention, who looked down his nose at him with an expression that could only be called 'pitying'.

"I _told you_ to grab the _scruff_."

Megatron growled low in his chest, pushing himself off the floor and rising onto his servos, "Are you going to help me?"

"I have to deactivate these warp drives." Starscream rolled a shoulder back at his trine, already backing away with them as they headed back up the corridor. "Can't hold them by the scruff forever."

Megatron's optics flared, indignant. "What about me?"

"I _called_ a medic." Starscream opened his servos like there was nothing more he could do. "The rest of your legs are on the floor below. You'll be fine."

Megatron watched him leave, nostrils flaring at Starscream's unrepentant _skip_ away, "I'll remember this!" He bellowed after him.

" _Trine comes first~_ " Starscream called musically, pausing before rounding a corner just long enough to give him a little wave goodbye.

Brat.

Immobile and abandoned, Megatron had little to do now but wait and stew angrily.

Though the thought of unleashing three brand new teleporters on the Autobots cheered him somewhat.

He was going to have to implore Skywarp to make more.

A _lot_ more. 

 

 


End file.
